YOU get better. {A letter to Joan Rivers}

Yesterday, I posted a quote by Joan Rivers from an episode of LOUIE on Instagram. And while I never met Joan Rivers in any sense, the day combined called for a personal letter. I hope you don't mind me sharing it here...

Joan Rivers Quote YOU get better

Oh, Joan. For years you have made me laugh. Your documentary inspired me on so many levels. Your hustle. Your strength. Your wit. You even made fashion a conversation between me and my husband on a regular basis. We would sit and eat dinner or curl up on the couch and listen to every bold and outrageous thing (that we all were thinking) so perfectly come out of your mouth in a genius string of comedy perfection. But this quote. Whether you wrote it, or a writer on LOUIE wrote it. This quote really is the light in the dark. This quote embodies who you were as a comedian, a woman, a person, and a human. When it got tough. You got better. 

Before I learned of your passing, I was on the phone with one of my dearest friends. A friend that pushes me, and inspires me, to be my most authentic creative self. I told her how I felt like I was finally re-finding myself. In life. In fashion. In acting. In my marriage. On the blog. How in LA, I had surrounded myself with noise, internally and externally, making me feel too this, too that, too short, too curvy, too fair skinned, too brunette, too plain, too funky, too sarcastic, a little too everything and yet not enough. Crushing who I was. Our move was not something I had hoped for. In fact, I cried for months preparing for "the big move from Los Angeles to Nassau, Bahamas", but then slowly something beautiful began to happen. Once I landed on the rock, I slowly started to peel off the "too"'s and allow myself to breathe. My friend and I talked about FromCtoC, but in a life sense, not a "blog" sense. We talked about the importance of selfishness, self-importance, and boundaries. We talked about relationships, depressions, goals, and joys. We talked about love and loss. I told her that at times I still feel like that doe-eyed intern at TeenVOGUE, I still feel overwhelmed and lost. Reaching around in the dark, hoping my outfit is cute enough. We talked about how the key to ending everyday with purpose, is authentically believing in what we do. Regardless if anyone get's it or not. 

See Joan. What we were trying to say, you had already said... Life. Love. Work. Stress. Bullying. Aspirations. Noise. It doesn't change. The world isn't going to magically "get better". But WE can get better. Slowly. Daily. Even when we take steps backwards. Big or small. Little by little. I can, and am, getting better at all of "it". And as I get better, I start setting my self-worth and boundaries, and acknowledging the worth and boundaries of others, and in turn I begin to surround myself with a better world.

"IT" doesn't get better. "YOU" get better. I will think of this in every challenge and triumph.

Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for your hustle.

We all appreciate it.